Chase got home from his mission on Tuesday and we all went up to Pinetop Thursday to spend some time up north as one whole fam. I want to cry because so many of the pictures from the cabin and the rest of the family got DELETED, ugh! We had a really good time and a really nice vacation from home.
Ok here goes.
A new year, what do I want? What are my goals?
Projects... I want to be proud of anything I do, If it's not my best it's not worth doing.
I'm bothered when I rush something and then regret that it may have been lacking. No more. I don't care to take on a bunch of new hobbies this year I just want to get better at the things I do currently and be proud of what I put out there.
Where did "Camie" go. It sounds weird to even say my own name. Who's she?
I used to be so sure of who I was, knew what I wanted and how to get it.
Now Im not so sure. I want to be sure.
Through this time of being pregnant and this constant feeling of nausea, fatigue, sleeplessness I've entered a world of "Hermit-dom". I've rationalized that if I stay home I can control my environment enough to avoid smells, sights and tasks that make me miserable. Hence, I have been saying NO a lot and have NOT been really "living" for the past 20 weeks. Now it is fading and I am starting to actually feel better, Yay! So it's time to start being a YES person. YES I can do that. YES I can help you. YES I can go there. YES I want that. YES I can handle this.
Smile :) Get excited! I perceive myself as a person who has an amazing life and an extremely happy life! Problem is I really struggle expressing that. Willie and I were watching "The Price is Right", I was in awe how excited all these contestants get and how that would never be what I would look like up there. I would be jumping for joy inside but I really doubt my expressions would reflect my feelings. I got a 1965 shiny, red VW beetle completely redone for my 16th birthday. You would think when presented with that I would be acting like a price is right contestant... that's how I felt. No, just some smiles and thank you's. My poor dad...he worked on it for months! Now 27, It's still a struggle! I am drawn to people who's, laugh and smile and countenance are smiley, happy, infectious.... that's how I feel inside. Why can't I express it? Now I want it to show outside as well.
Service. I'm craving that feeling, that high from giving yourself for something good. What I'm not sure yet, but when the opportunity arises I want to have the attitude and mindset to be ready to take it on.
I'll stop at 5. I could have an entire goal designated to following through with other goals!
This should keep me busy for the year. That and 3 boys come May all under one roof!